Issues
by brezzybri17
Summary: How do you get back to normal when you can't even remember what that is? Might just be a one shot.
1. Chapter 1

It's been three months since we found out who Piper's accomplice was. Three months since I had to watch the man I thought I loved turn into a complete monster, although I guess he had always been one. Things have gotten back to some shred of normal, I guess we've gotten use to falling back into routine after a couple of serial killers. If you look close enough though you can see the cracks in the masks we proudly hide behind, pretending all our wounds have healed.

Brooke spent three days in bed once it was all over, I think losing her father reopened the wound of losing Jake and for those few days she just couldn't get out of bed. She's better now or at least seems to be, her and Stavo spend so much time together it's only a matter of time before they make it official. She's been talking to her mom more, although I don't think she'll ever forgive her mom for buying Brooke her own condo instead of coming home to take care of her after her dad's death. When she smiles now most of the time it's genuine, but sometimes when we're all together, when she thinks no one is watching the way she looks at Audrey proves she hasn't truly let go of the past.

Noah threw himself into his podcast after the killings ended. I don't think he's actually dealt with Zoe's death yet, and im not really sure he ever will completely. He won't let us talk about her, I guess pretending she never existed is easier for him than admitting that he was in love with someone and he lost her. Most high school students break up with their first love but the way that Noah lost Zoe is something I don't think he will ever get over.

Audrey is complicated, we go out to the movies together every weekend. Every weekend we smile and laugh and pretend to be normal teenagers again. But when the movie ends and she leaves after walking me to the door I know where she goes. At first it seemed harmless, going to abandoned buildings to watch people beat the hell out of each other. When I first found out about it I thought it was a little weird but after everything we went through who was I to judge whatever made her feel better. Then one day we all met up to go out to dinner and Audrey showed up looking like she had been hit by a car. She told some lie about taking a self-defense class and forgetting to keep her face covered, I don't think any of us really believed it but once again, who were we to judge?

As the weeks went by Audrey still showed up with bruises on her face with the same excuse but eventually the bruises weren't as bad, everyone assumed she had ended whatever extracurricular activity she had been doing; but I had a feeling she had gotten better at giving out the hits so she didn't have to take as many. I began following her about three weeks ago, It wasn't too difficult I had Noah give me the gps on her phone.

The first time I arrived at "The arena" I immediately wanted to turn around and get the hell out of the there. I knew it was a fight club of some kind but actually being there and watching people beat the hell out of each other willingly made my skin crawl. It took about ten minutes for me to find Audrey through the hoard of people crowded around watching the show. She seemed strong. Watching her as she prepared for her fight of the night I saw no hint of weakness or anything that made her seem unsure. Out of all the chaos that had become our lives, it looked like in this moment Audrey didn't have a worry in the world, she was more sure of herself than I had ever seen.

After months of seeing Audrey pretend to be fine it felt like some of the weight had been lifted off of my shoulders watching her actually seem okay for once. I wanted her to feel safe and in control again, and in this moment that's exactly how she looked. I couldn't remember the last time I saw her look that calm, even on our weekly movie nights. Which is why I stayed in the crowed, I didn't approach her or try to stop her. I stood silently, and then I watched her break a grown man's jaw with two hits.

After that night I began following Audrey, in the beginning I told myself it was out of worry. Out of all the crazy things we all had done to try to forget about the past this might have been the most dangerous and there was no way I was going to let Audrey do anything to put herself in danger. But I quickly realized that Audrey was never in danger in the arena, she was the danger. After that realization I kept going, watching in the shadows, trying to understand why after all of the violence and danger we had been through she would want to become danger and violence herself.

Recently however I've began questioning why I am so drawn to it. At first I was fascinated but lately I had become fixated, not on the violence as I had once thought, not even on the control it seems to give the people who participate. I found myself in a dirty abandoned building every Sunday night because of Audrey. Out of all the madness and violence that happens down here, Audrey is what I come here to see; and after weeks of watching quietly in the shadows after winning another fight Audrey looked up and finally saw me.


	2. Chapter 2

I had always read about people being able to have conversations through eye contact. I thought it was fake, the idea that somehow eye contact was enough to talk to someone; but now with Audrey starring me down I understand. I didn't even need to talk to her to understand from the look in her eyes she was pissed. After what felt like an eternity of us just looking Audrey turned and walked away from the crowd and I knew she wanted me to follow.

As I followed Audrey my heart felt like it was going to explode, I had never planned for her to ever find out that I knew what she does, or find out that I regularly watch. What the hell am I gonna say? 'Yeah I just like watching you beat the hell out of people while I hide in the shadows' that sounds more like something Kieran or Piper would do.

I was so lost in my thought that I hadn't even realized how long I had been walking until I felt someone grab my arm and shove me against a wall.

"What the hell are you doing here Emma?" Audrey said through gritted teeth.

Okay, she was really pissed.

Before I could try and come up with some excuse as to why I was here Audrey cut me off.

"Do you know how dangerous it is down here? Do you even know what goes on here?" I could hear a bit of panic in her voice which threw me off, I haven't seen anything close to panic expressed by her since she started coming here.

Audrey refused to break eye contact, waiting for an answer.

"I overheard someone at school say something big happens down here every Sunday, I just wanted to see what it was." I said without even having to think about it.

I really hate lying, especially to Audrey but I know it's better than telling her I've been coming here to watch her fight.

"You listened to idiots at our school about something that happens in an abandoned factory? Do you have a death wish Emma? Just cause the killers are dead doesn't mean you can do stupid shit like that!" Audrey's grip on my arm started to loosen and I could tell she was going from pissed off to worried.

"Okay when you say it like that I understand how bad it sounds but it seemed like a good idea at the time." I felt terrible, this was the one place that seemed to make her feel better and now she's spending her time here worrying about me; which is the last thing I want her doing.

"I'm really sorry okay? I'll use my head next time, and if I decided to do anything stupid I'll call you first okay?"

I watched Audrey for a few seconds and it was small but I did see her smile, which these days counts as a miracle.

"You're not allowed to do anything stupid without me." She said as she let go of me completely and took a step back.

I smiled, even though I felt cold as soon as she let me go.

"No stupid ideas without you, promise." I say holding up my pinky

Audrey just laughs and pushes my hand away as she hugs me.

I love when this happens, and I know loving when your best friend gives you hugs as much as I do probably means something but I don't can't deal with that. Audrey was never big on physical affection before the killings and after it became pretty much nonexistent; so moments like this rarely happen.

I wrap my arms around her and close my eyes enjoying the moment for as long as I can before she pulls away.

As she pulls away I grab her hand, so she can't leave.

"I saw you." I say barely above a whisper.

I could feel Audrey trying to pull away but I just held on tighter.

"You don't have to explain; we don't even have to talk about it at all. I won't pretend like I understand because I don't and I won't ask you to stop. But you don't get to do anything stupid without me either. So, next Sunday I'll be here, and the Sunday after that, and the Sunday after that; for however long you come here. You're not alone Audrey, I'm here, and I see you."


	3. Chapter 3

Today is the day I have been dreading all week, Sunday. All week Audrey has been trying to convince me to do literally anything else other than go and watch her fight. I felt tempted to stay home, watching Audrey fight from the shadows was one thing; but being up close and seeing it from a few feet away was a completely different thing. I also felt like I was ruining this for her, but I promised her we wouldn't do anything stupid alone, and an underground fight club definitely falls under stupid.

So, here I am, parked outside of Audrey's house waiting to take her to go fight someone who' probably twice her size. I try not to get sick just thinking about it, luckily Audrey walks out of her house and pulls me out of my thoughts.

"You know, I'm not an eight-year-old kid that needs to be taken to karate class Em" Audrey sighs as she gets in the car and buckles her seatbelts. "I've been able to get there on my own every Sunday without any help."

I roll my eyes and head in the direction of the building.

"Maybe I just want practice for when I'm a soccer mom." I say trying to sound serious

The car rides quiet and before I know it were outside the building I've been having nightmares about for a week.

I'm reach to unbuckle my seatbelt, but Audrey grabs my hand before I can.

"You don't need to come in with me Emma, I'm a big girl I can handle this alone." She says refusing to break eye contact with me.

I lean a little and see her eyes dip for a second before focusing back on my eyes.

"When have I ever left you alone?" I ask before unbuckling the belt and getting out of the car.

It takes me a few steps but Audrey catches up to me and we walk in together.

I see the cage where all the fights happen and move to head in that direction, but once again Audrey grabs my hand and pulls me away.

"Before I let you anywhere near the cage you need to know the rules." Audrey says sounded anxious.

"Rules? Now who is treating who like a child." I say trying to keep myself from rolling my eyes.

"I'm serious Em, I let you come with me, this is my space, and I have rules you need to follow if you want me to keep letting you come here." Audrey sounds very close to dragging me out of here and never returning, so I just nod and wait for the rules.

"First rule, do not try and make friends with anyone down here; no one here is a good person." I want to say that she's a good person but she continues before I have the chance to.

"Second rule, If a fight gets really bed you can't watch, and I'm serious even if I'm getting my ass kicked I'll know if you're still watching or not. The last rule, you never fight here, ever."

Audrey say's the rules with such finality that I now there is no point in arguing over them, not that I really want to anyway, so I just nod and we head to the cage.

I can see what Audrey means about not trying to make friends here, from the shadows I never really paid attention to anyone but Audrey; now that I'm up close I see how scary most of these people are.

I inch closer to Audrey while she sets her stuff down.

"When is your fight." I ask looking around at all the other people also getting ready for their fights.

"it's the third one of the night, so probably in half an hour." Audrey says distractedly.

I look over and see her wrapping her hands.

"Show me how to do that for you." I say moving in front of her.

"Why?" She asks genuinely confused.

"Cause most of the people here have someone helping them with that, and now you have me and I want to help, so show me." I say with my arms across my chest daring her to say no.

After a few seconds, Audrey shrugs and grabs my hand to pull me closer to her.

"I'll show you on your hand first so you can see and feel how it should be and then you can try on me." She says as she grabs the wrap.

"First, put the loop on our thumb and wrap it behind your hand, then wrap it around the wrist three times like this, see?" She asks pausing to make sure I understand.

I nod and Audrey continues.

"Next you wrap it around your hand three times, it doesn't really have to cover your knuckles, and then bring it down to the front part of your thumb." Audrey says while rubbing her thumb against mine.

"Now you make three X's through your fingers. Bring it between your pinky ad your ring finger from the top, pull to the side under your palm, pull up a little under your knuckles, then bring it back to the front part of your thumb, do that two more times and you're done with that part."

Audrey looks up, to make sure I'm not getting lost in the information, I lick my lips and nod my head "Keep going" I say ready for the next step.

She pauses before swallowing and continuing.

"Alright now go around your thumb, go down the back of your hand, Go behind your thumb, Go down your palm not all the way around the thumb, wrap it three times around your knuckles this time; and finally use the rest of the warp to wrap up your wrist."

Finally, Audrey finishes and it looks just like it does in the movies.

"Wow you're really good at this." I say inspecting my hand closer.

"I'm a fast learner, now it's your turn, the fights are gonna start soon so wrap me up." She says as she starts to unwrap my hand.

I'm proud to say it only took me two tries of completely messing her hands up before I finally got them looking semi decent enough for her to fight with.

I'm wishing I had spent more time on them now though because the first fight is getting ready to start and I'm already nervous. I've never liked violence to begin with, and after everything that has happened that's only increased.

Audrey can sense my nervousness and intertwines her hand with mine, which intently calms me down, again another thing I know isn't normal but can't deal with right now.

After a few minutes the 'show' starts, two guys walk into the cage and stare each other down as the ref explains the rules.

The guys are scrawny and I think I even recognize one of them as a kid who graduated a year or two ago. I'm pulled out of my thoughts when the ref yells fight and these two harmless looking guys start beating on each other.

The way they fight reminds me a lot of Audrey the first time I saw her fight, and I assume the earlier in the night you fight the less experience you have, it took about ten minutes but finally one of the guys put the other into a chokehold until he passed out and was declared winner.

There's a brief intermission while two guys run out and try their best to clean up all the blood before the next fight, and I feel my stomach start to churn.

"Hey, you can wait in the car if you want, I'll be done with my fight really quick it wont take long." Audrey says eyes filled with concern.

"I'm fine, I can handle a little blood." I say trying to will myself not to throw up or think about the last time I saw this much blood.

Before Audrey can continue the next fighters enter the cage.

This fight was quicker than the last, with one making the other tap out after having his nose broken.

Finally, Audrey gets ready to go into the cage and I'm so nervous I have to remind myself to breathe so I don't pass out.

Right before Audrey walks into the cage I pull her back "Don't make me have to look away." I say before letting her go.

Audrey heads into the cage and smiles at me before the fight starts.

I Try to remember exactly how she looks when she smiles, because I've seen her after fights before and it takes a while before her face starts to look the same again.

The ref yells 'fight' and I dig my nails into my palm as I watch this over six-foot man charge at Audrey.

They fought for a few minutes with Audrey getting some hits while the guy just chased her around the cage, finally after I felt like my heart would give out from stress Audrey hit him harder than I can remember her hitting anyone she's ever fought before, and he falls to the ground unconscious.

Audrey looks up and smiles at me, and I thank God her smile is the same as it was before the fight.

I watch as the same guys that cleaned up the blood earlier rush out and carry the unconscious man out of the cage and into the shadows. Audrey stands awkwardly as everyone cheers and after a minute she heads out of the cage and to me.

I throw myself into her arms as soon as she's close enough for me to hold on.

"Thank you." I say, finally letting out the breath I didn't know I had been holding

Audrey hugs me back tightly before pulling out of the hug and grabbing her bag.

"Let's get out of here." She says as she takes my hand and leads me away from the cage and further into the darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

We've been driving for almost half an hour and I'm half convinced Audrey has decided to make a run for it. I'm about to ask where the hell were going when I finally see a giant neon 24/7 sign.

"Um, Audrey, why are we at a twenty-four-hour diner in the middle of nowhere?" I say looking around for some sign of where we are.

"You said I can't do stupid things alone, anymore right? Well after every fight I come here and celebrate I guess you could call it. And since you decided to come to the fight you gotta come to the celebration, that's the rule." Audrey says getting out the car before I can ask any more questions.

I sigh and follow behind, I just watched her beat a grown man; I'm guessing she can handle a shady diner in the middle of nowhere.

"Audrey! How did tonight go sweetheart?" A woman who looks like she was in her sixties asks as she grabs two menus.

"It was good Norma." Audrey says before she smiles and follows the woman to the last booth in the back.

"And who have you brought with you? I was convinced I was the only soul you knew." The woman, Norma, says as she smiles at me.

"Hi, I'm Emma." I say as I smile back at her.

"Well it's nice to meet you sweetheart, I already know what Audrey wants; she's about as predictable as a sunrise. What about you, what can I get you?" She asks pulling out a note pad and a pen.

"Um, I'm not sure, what's good here?" I ask skimming over the menu.

"The pie." Audrey says before Norma even has a chance to reply.

Norma just laughs

"Two of our world-famous pies coming up."

I watch her leave, then take in the rest of the diner.

You can tell during the day this would be a popular place, especially right off the highway.

"How did you find this place?" I ask finally turning my attention back to Audrey.

She fidgets with her fingers for a few seconds before replying.

"After my first fight, I was really amped up. I knew I couldn't sleep so I didn't even bother, I just started driving and eventually ended up here. I figured I might as well wallow in self-pity in here than in my car."

She finally makes eye contact with me.

"I remember that, you came to school looking like you lost a fight with a train."

Audrey smiles a little before replying.

"I over estimated my abilities back then."

Where quite for a few minutes before my curiosity gets the best of me.

"Can I ask you a question?" I ask, and Audrey looks like she's contemplating whether to even respond.

"Do you have to?" She finally asks.

"Yes." I say almost immediately.

Audrey just sighs.

"Alright Em let's hear it."

"Why are you doing this? I mean I know we've all done some messed up things the past year, I'm not judging I promise. But I don't get it, after all the violence we've had to deal with, why would you want to be around more?" I ask carefully trying not to say anything that'll cause Audrey to shut down on me.

Audrey stares out the window for a few seconds before turning back to me.

"I had no control Em, hell I barely even remembered what control felt like. It felt like I wasn't even living anymore. The most control I had was what I would wear that day and that was it."

She hesitates for a second before continuing.

"When I shot Piper, that was the most in control I had felt since the killings started. And yeah that's probably what started this weird need for control, but when the second killings started that's when it got real bad. I went from feeling like I had no control in anything, to feeling completely in control and then feeling like that control I had was taken from me. You were there Em, when we had Kieran, I wanted to kill him. And I wanted him dead for everything he did and to make sure we wouldn't have to go through that again, but I also wanted him dead to feel in control."

Audrey stops as Norma brings out our pie.

"Alright ladies, two slices of our world-famous apple pie." She says as she hands each of us a slice.

"Can I get you anything else?"

We both shake our heads and she smiles before heading into the back.

"Anyway, I can't lose control like that again. I'm not sure why I picked fighting. I don't know if it's the control I finally have over something violent or what, but it helps. Brooke is practically attached to Stavo's hip, Noah could fill a library with all the crimes he keeps investigating. And those are just the nice things they don't mind people knowing about, we're all doing things to climb out of this hell they left us in."

Audrey says as she starts to unfold her silverware from her napkin.

"Hey." I say as I grab her hand.

"I'm not judging you. I know we're all doing things to cope. I just want to understand, you're my best friend. I understand why Brooke and Noah are doing the things that help them, I just want to understand why you're doing this." I say trying to calm her down.

Audrey nods before pointing to my pie.

"Start eating, she wasn't kidding when she said it was good pie." Audrey says a hint of a smile in her voice.

I smile before getting my own silverware and digging in.

"Oh my god." I say as I take my first bite.

"I told you." Audrey says, this time with a smile on her face.

I spend the next five minutes so focused on the best pie I've ever had, I don't even notice Audrey signaling for Norma to bring the check.

"Is that gonna be together or separate tonight sweetheart?" Norma asks Audrey.

"Together." Audrey say pulling a ten out of her wallet before I can even swallow my last piece of pie.

"Keep the change Norma."

"Thanks sweetie, see you next Sunday." She says before heading into the back once again.

"Ready?" Audrey asks grabbing the keys.

"I could have paid for my pie Audrey." I say as we get up and head back to the car.

"I dragged you to the middle of nowhere after you had to watch me fight, you earned your pie." She says as she gets into the car.

"I told you I don't mind Audrey, I wanted to come." I say trying to reassure her she hadn't forced me to do anything.

"Careful you sound almost as fucked up as me." She as we pull back onto the highway.

I can feel myself getting more and more tired, by the time we finally stop.

"Wake up Em, we're here." I force my eyes open and realize were outside my house, not Audrey's.

"Hey, why are we at my house? I still have to drop you off"

"You can barely keep your eyes open, there's no way I'm letting you drive alone. I'll just walk back to my house it's not that far." She says as she unbuckles her seatbelt.

"Are you insane? This town has more murders than some countries and you seriously think I'm going to let you walk home? You're staying the night." I say matter of factly as I unbuckle my seat belt and get out of the car.

"I can't stay the night Em, we have school tomorrow. I know it's the last week before summer, but I'm pretty sure my teachers will still care if I show up with literally nothing tomorrow."

"Audrey, there's no way in hell you're walking home tonight. You may be able to take down a grown man but If you try and walk home right now I'll be the one taking you down."

I say daring her to ty and walk away from me right now.

"You know there's no need to threaten with violence, if you wanted to spend the night with me all you had to do was ask." She says smirking at me.

"Oh, shut up and get in the house Jensen." I say finally feeling myself relax.

As we head inside I can feel the tiredness catching back up to me, and practically have to drag myself up the stairs to my room.

"Do you have anything I can sleep in." Audrey asks looking around.

"Yeah hold on." I grab her a pair of old sweats and one of my dad's old shirts I actually kept.

I turn to grab clothes for myself, and when I turn back around I'm met with a half-naked Audrey.

"Oh, sorry." I say covering my very red face.

"You've seen me change before Em it's no big deal." She says pulling her shirt over her head.

Yeah and she's definitely changed a lot since the last time I saw her change I think to myself.

I sigh and turn to change, and I swear I can feel Audrey's eyes on me.

I turn around and expect to meet Audrey's eyes, instead i see Audrey throwing her clothes into my clothes basket.

Jesus Emma get it together

"We can wake up early and I'll take you by your house to grab your school stuff." I say before climbing into bed.

"Do you want me to sleep downstairs." Audrey asks while she hovers by the door.

"What? No in my bed weirdo." I say genuinely confused.

"We just never talked about what I said in the barn. I don't know if you're cool with me sleeping in your bed with you." Audrey says refusing to meet my eyes.

My heartbeat picks up at the mentioning of her confession, but I try and not let it show.

"Audrey, that was a long time ago. You used to be in love with me, you're not anymore." I pause, half hoping she'll correct me but she doesn't.

You really need to get it together

I clear my throat before continuing.

"And I'm not Nina Audrey, you know who you like has never bothered me or made me treat you differently. So, stop being ridiculous and get into bed with me."

I say before crossing my arms and challenging her to say anything other than okay.

She doesn't say anything, just silently climbs into bed with me.

A few minutes pass and I can feel myself drifting off to sleep when I hear Audrey's voice.

"It's my turn to ask you a question." She says quietly.

I hum in response to let her know I'm not asleep yet and I'm listing.

"Why did you start coming to the fights." She asks as she turns over to face me.

I don't know what I was expecting but that definitely wasn't it.

Before I can say what, I told her earlier she speaks again.

"And don't say you heard about it from some kid at school. You wouldn't go to a random warehouse because you over heard someone at school talking about it, you wouldn't even let me walk home tonight, so why did you come?" She asks and I can feel her eyes staring me down.

I lay there for a few seconds before deciding she'll know if I tell her anything other than the truth.

I turn and face her before replying.

"I knew you were doing something you didn't want us to know about, and I had to make sure whatever it was you were doing wasn't going to get you killed."

"How long have you been coming?" She asks not missing a beat.

I sigh before replying "when you saw me, that was my third time watching you."

Audrey's quite for a while, and I start to think she's fallen asleep before I see her lips move.

"Why did you keep coming? I haven't lost a fight in months Emma, the first time you came you had to have seen that I wasn't in any danger."

It was my turn to be silent, I even thought of pretending to fall asleep so I wouldn't have to answer.

"Em?" Audrey asks and I sigh knowing she deserves an answer

"I liked seeing you like that, when you're fighting it's like I can see a version of you that isn't haunted by what we went through. And I know you've been getting better and I'm so happy for that, but in that cage, is the only time I've seen you that okay in a long time. I guess I missed it, and I guess it made me feel okay knowing that even if it's just for a little while, you're okay too."

I watch Audrey's face for any response to what I just said, I can see a few emotions in her eyes, but before I can make them out she closes her eyes and sighs.

"I'm glad you were there, I know I was pissed last week, but I'm glad you were there tonight." She says quietly.

I smile to myself before reaching out for her hand.

"I'm always here for you, and I'll be there next Sunday too." I say as I close my eyes.

I hear Audrey say something else, but I'm already fading.

The last thing I feel before I finally pass out is Audrey rubbing her thumb against mine.


End file.
